I'm Not Okay

I saw this picture and it really just looked like a poem, ya know? 

So, here's my late night rambling of a poem-thing. 

(Sorry - this isn't a happy ending poem as of right now. :) It didn't flow right to continue into that, so it is what it is.)

 I'm Not Okay 

4/22/14

That unguarded moment

When my shield

Drops -

And there you are.

“Are you okay?”

You saw my frown

And the way my shoulders sagged

'Cause I thought

No one was watching...

While at the same time I was wishing

Someone would notice.

“I'm fine

Just tired.”

My practiced smile falls into place

As I list

All the reasons why

I'm fine

Just

A little tired right now.

Those entangled words

Slip past my lips.

Part truth -

Oh,

But mostly not.

I think you believe me;

If you didn't

You'd probably try to probe

Deeper.

You're good at it,

But I never give you that chance.

See,

We all have those words.

Those words

We hide behind

At the times

We are the lowest.

What are your words?

Mine are these,

Clear as day,

But you don't see them

For what they really are.

But that's my fault.

I've gotten really good at pretending.

Heh,

So good that half the time

You wouldn't even know

I'm repeating in my head,

“It's okay.

I'm okay.

It's okay.

I'm okay.”

Over and over

To stop my other thoughts

From sinking me

Deeper than I want to go.

I don't often let my guard slip

Low enough for you to see...

But

Despite all this...

I want you

To chase behind the words,

"I'm fine."

To see

If the words are real

Or

If they're an empty shield.

Please...

But right now

All I do is smile and laugh

While we dance around

The truth...

I'm not okay.

I'm ready

To give up

If I have to...

But please

If I really have to

Will you

Please stay with me?

~ZA

I'm Not Alright - Sanctus Real