Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Free Poetry Ebook And A Book Giveaway!



I've got an announcement! Today through December 14th, the ebook version ofZeal Aspiring, is free on Kindle!

Also, on my other blog I'm giving away four different signed books

Head over and check it out! 

~ZA


Saturday, November 23, 2013

Lost In Silence



       The words of this blog post hit me hard: The 13th Floor Issue of Everything Left Unsaid . I know what this is talking about and have been through parts of it my share of times... At the root of it, most came about because I or another was afraid how the other would react if we said how we really felt... Those lessons were painful, but we have a new bond of honesty between us from it.

  The fact that I've dropped into periods of silence myself more than once, and that I've helped friends sort through similar situations tells me that this isn't an abnormal reaction in many cases. Misunderstandings happen, and those closest to us can cause us pain inadvertently or on purpose, but if you love someone you need to take the risk of talking it out... Silence to sort our thoughts or to try to let it go is not wrong - I'm just saying that you should never hold everything back and let the feelings of hurt take root in your friendship and grow. It will fester until you can hardly think of them without considering things said. Now there are times when it is not wise to speak out...but you should never choose to go silent because of fear.

What have I learned from these situations of my own and trying to help others in them? Silence won't heal the rift - If something is wrong, just say it. Don't close off and think it'll get better and justify the other person's actions. Let them know you value their friendship then honestly state what's been bothering you... A true friend will seek to help right things again.

"You will not wait for the silence to consume us, until all that we’re left with is polite conversation and shallow niceties. You will not let the uncomfortable pile in between us until we’re left drowning under the weight of things unsaid. You will not deny the realness of the situation or gloss over the details. You will say it to my face: “
I value you too much to hide behind my own self-preservation. Come on. Let’s talk.“" -Isa Garcia 


 So here for you is a poem/freeverse/prose thingy trying to be a poem:


Lost In Silence 
11/22/13

I'd rather be silent than expose myself to you.
I'm probably just being stupid.
“Get over it!” Self mocks me.
You don't need to see how I'm feeling.
These feelings... they'll blow over, given time...
So I'll go quiet.
I'll close up.
I'll smile and pretend I'm doing okay.
Better to pretend than have to relive that again.
We both know something happened -
Now we tiptoe on glass shards that cut slivers on our feet
While pretending the glass never was broken...
You broke it.
I broke it.
We knocked it over together but
Neither of us wants to admit what we're really feeling.
“My fault. My fault. All of this is my fault,”
Those words sing-song laugh in my mind.
This guilt is mine but I'll hide that from you too -
No need for you to see how warped my thinking has become.
The thought of talking this out with you terrifies me
But it's also what I want the most...
The thing I want the most, yet I bury the possibility under layers.
Layers of, “It's not that important.”
“I should learn to deal with it by myself.”
“It wouldn't fix anything even if I tried.”
Can't take it. Close down thoughts. Shut them down. Go silent.
Not real silent – but the kind of silent that never brushes past,
 “Yeah, today was fine,”
To the real tangled up emotion.
You and I, we're still friends, but the tension is just below the surface.
“You hurt me!” Whispers the betrayed voice in my head.
“No... I'm just being stupid...”
“The fact that I can't let this go shows how poor a friend I am.”
We both know something is wrong
But walking on glass shards seems safer than cutting open the real problem.
Whose fault is it?
My fault?
Your fault?
In reality it's somewhat shared, but this silence has even bound that truth.
We go through the motions like everything's okay
While underneath we're pulling farther and farther apart.
What went wrong? I'm still not sure.
Yeah, maybe asking would help...
But I can't risk feeling that pain again.
Then one day
A little crack, a misplaced word, a meaningless jibe
And suddenly the landslide breaks.
Floods of hurt,
Confusion,
Longing,
Missing,
Not knowing -
All of it swirls about in chaotic wind.
“But why didn't you -”
“I didn't think you'd understand-”
“I felt alone -”
“I wanted you here -”
“Why did you -”
“Because I thought I'd lose you.”
The words flow free, exposing all the tangled strings.
We tied the knots together when we doubted each other's care.
We pulled back when all we really wanted was to be held closer...
So we both thought the damage being done was solely in our hands.
Our feelings twist and clench but we smooth things out bit by bit;
Apologies and promises of honesty
Give weight to our discussion.
In the end we're wiser than we were
And stronger friends in many ways.
Now we know...
Talking it out is painful,
But not as painful as pressing it down.
Honesty hurts, but it's worth it...
Because I never want to lose you, my friend,
To silence.

~ZA




Copyright © 2013 Ophelia M. Flowers

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Lullaby Rest

This is a poem I wrote for a short story. The first verse was for a short story and then I wrote the rest of it for a friend.

You can read the short story here: Dreamer

Lullaby Rest
4/27/13

Rest, little one,
Quiet your cries.
Listen to the sound
Of gentle lullabies.
Tomorrow is coming
So lay down your fears.
May the light of the dawning,
Dry all of your tears.

Dark is the night,
Hidden away
Wishing for dawn,
In the midst of the day.
For life is a mystery,
Of things never known.
Of tangled history
Elusive and windblown.

Yet, here I will stay,
Close near you now.
Though deep are the shadows,
That may cast you down.
Love growing stronger,
For you, friend of mine.
I will stand by you,
A small light to shine.

~ZA

Copyright © 2013 Ophelia M. Flowers

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Music's Dance

 
 
 
Music's Dance
9/26/13
 
 
Dance around, let the music patter.
Feel the rain falling down, down, down.
Move, dear friend, let the rhythm steal you,
Past the thoughts hiding in your frown.
 
Dive beneath, let the music ripple.
Feel the waves lapping near, near, near.
Swim, dear friend, let the current reach you,
Strike down deep to the sound so clear.
 
Smile alone, let the music whisper.
Feel the sun shining bright, bright, bright.
Run, dear friend, let the warmth release you,
Leap and twirl through the dawn's first light.
 
Sing again, let the music shimmer.
Feel the wind blowing 'round, 'round, 'round.
Laugh, dear friend, let the music take you
To the dreams drifting toward the ground.
 
Shout aloud, let the music gather.
Feel the sound growing strong, strong, strong.
Sway, dear friend, let the music fill you,
Hold the joy finding you belong.
 
Just believe, let the music shatter.
Feel the shards as they sting, sting, sting.
Live, dear friend, let the music prick you
In your heart where your voice takes wing.
 
Look inside, let the music wander.
Feel the tune twisting out, out, out.
Reach, dear friend, let the music stretch you
Past the coils in your sea of doubt.
 
Splash within, let the music color.
Feel the song rising high, high, high.
Sit, dear friend, let the music touch you
Deep inside where your heart now flies.
 
~ZA
 

Copyright © 2013 Ophelia M. Flowers
 

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Writing Heart-Prints





            Writing a book is very easy. Just give up your life, strip off all your lies, lash yourself to a rock, push yourself until you think you’re going to die, ignore people when they say nothing you write is worth reading, and then publish it and beg people to buy it. Easy. – David Groves
 
 
 
 
Writing Heart-Prints
 9/22/13

Let me write with blood stamped throughout it -
The blood of hidden memories.
The blood of my true self.
The red of my own heart-cries
Scribbled on each stained page
And fingerprinted with honesty.
Words twisting and dancing
From experience, friendships, sorrows-
Marked out from my heart...
Let my words capture that, even to some degree.
 
 
It doesn't come easy.
It isn't without aches...
There are other words I can write
To perhaps still appease the longing to share.
Glossy colors flow,
Painting soft shades of light
That can often mask the reality.
They dance across the shadows,
And while they are not wrong,
They are not quite right either.
They don't cry from the depths of my heart
The same way heart-prints do.
Yet, there are days when the airy colored tendrils
Seem the safer things to write.
 
 
Whispers all around me call to be written.
I listen.
I hear the words that sing to be free.
Through the brambles, through the fire,
Through the long nights,
And quiet loneliness
They cry out.
Deep inside me, they well up
To leak over everything I touch.
I clench my hands.
It can hurt to let those words spill over,
Watching them seep into my colored paper
And tint everything in their wake...
They sink and weigh heavily on my heart;
I believe many of them echo those around me.
It hurts to write the cries of a heart in pain -
To write the cries of my own pain.
Ah, but it's worth it in the end, I think.
When I reach out my hand,
Letting myself escape within my writing
To sprinkle heart-prints over everything I share,
I am truly me.
 
 
~ZA

Copyright © 2013 Ophelia M. Flowers

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Laughing




Laughing
9/11/13
 
Shoulders shaking,
Head tilted back,
Laughing
Until I'm gasping
And my sides ache
From trying to be quieter -
That's the kind of laughing I like.

Contented feeling,
With a wide smile
Listening
As a friend laughs
At something I said,
And hearing their amusement -
That's the kind of laughing I like.

Crazy looks
Of silly faces
Shaking
As silent laughter builds
And nothing needs be said
To grow each other's laughs -
That's the kind of laughing I like. 

Stifled sound
Of amused giggles
Escaping
Late at night
When we should be in bed
But we're having way too much fun -
That's the kind of laughing I like.

Mutual enjoyment
Of a shared joke,
Snickering
At what no one else would get
And repeating the nonsense
Until both can't breathe -
That's the kind of laughing I like.

Being together
To laugh despite the day,
Understanding
How to make each other smile
And what we find funny
When we share stories -
That's the kind of laughing I like.

~ZA
 
 
Copyright © 2013 Ophelia M. Flowers
 

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Waves Of Your Will


Original Picture From Flickr


 
               I spent a lot of time at the ocean this summer. As I watched the waves and went swimming I was struck again how /small/ I am. The ocean is vast and strong enough to knock my feet out from under me; the tide keeps coming and there is nothing I can do to control it... *Smiles* I wrote this poem thinking about the ocean and the strength of God's will.

 
Waves Of Your Will
8/4/13

 
When tomorrow comes
May I know more about You, Lord.
Day by day, please lead me.
It's all I long for -
To feel Your presence in my life.
I feel so small in the face of what You ask,
But You tell me to run
Full hearted after You.
 
 
I want to take a deep breath
To dive into the ocean of Your will
And give myself totally over to You.
No more of this standing on the shore
With my feet barely wet,
Afraid to take the plunge.
 
 
The waves crash in and sweep back the sand of my plans.
I've built fragile drip castles that I try to keep
Just on the edge of Your tide.
I stand watching,
Wondering if I dare to go into that unknown ocean
And leave behind my castles.
 
 
I hear Your voice calling -
Calling, calling, calling me to trust You
And let go.
So I hold my breath
And run into the waves.
It's much deeper than I thought,
And I lose my footing.
For a moment I struggle –
Crying out as the sand of my plans slides away.
Your current gently lifts me
And pulls me into deeper waters;
It's strong and out of my control
But somehow a sense of overwhelming peace is there.
 
 
I don't always follow as I should.
Sometimes I still go to the ocean's edge to build my sand castles,
As if I can keep them from You.
I struggle with letting You have control of all my life,
But You keep calling me back -
Back into the glorious wonder of striving for Your will.
But oh, that is hard to do -
Often times I fight Your current
Instead of swimming in the direction You're guiding.
It's when I surrender and dive deep,
Seeking to go where You call me,
That I feel Your strength to go.
 
There's something beautiful
About being powerless within the waves of Your will -
To know there's nothing left for me to do
But feel Your enveloping presence and...
Surrender.
The longer I stay here with You
The more I know that this is where I long to be,
And nothing can compare to the peace there is
In feeling the wild, enveloping, strength of Your love
As day by day You lead me in Your will.
 
 
~ZA
 
 
Copyright © 2013 Ophelia M. Flowers


Thursday, August 29, 2013

Loved Though Fallen

Loved Though Fallen 
 8/28/13

Bound by choices, held in lies.
Laughing, singing, to drown my cries
That echo in the dark.

Down in a crevice, deep in the vice.
Struggling, reaching, falling down twice
And then again and again.

Spinning in circles, knife in my chest.
Wondering, hurting, but smiling - lest
They see my pain.

Blood on hands, dark running deep.
Walking, acting, pretending to sleep
So they won't ask questions.

Dancing the steps, much too slow.
Stumbling, halting, afraid to go
But it's too late to stop.

Shaking in fear, nothing to say.
Sobbing, trembling, forgetting to pray -
Or rather, too ashamed to.

Known by the Father, loves me the same.
Holding, loving, calling by name
And healing my brokenness.

Binding my wounds, whispers of grace.
Healing, refining, there's love in His face
Though He knows I fell.

Setting me down, taking my hand.
Guiding, reminding, it's with Him I stand
For He died to make me new.


~ZA

  
Copyright © 2013 Ophelia M. Flowers

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Boardwalk Witnessing

 
 
 
 
 
 
I'm working with the ministry of the Boardwalk Chapel in Wildwood New Jersey this summer. I'm learning so much and love being here. ^_^
This poem is a bit about what it's like to go out witnessing on the boardwalk. :)
 


 
Boardwalk Witnessing 
6/27/13
 
Lights are flashing,
People laughing,
Hear the call of, “Come and buy!”
Music blaring,
People caring
For things that cannot satisfy.
 
Watch them playing,
Hear them saying,
“Come along and join the fun!”
Tram cars rumbling,
Drunk ones stumbling,
Vacant stares that say, 'I'm done.'
 
We sit praying
That hearts are swaying -
That God's Spirit goes forth to call.
We are nothing
But God is loving;
He uses us, though we are small.
 
We start sharing,
God's love caring,
And try to tell about His grace.
Some will listen,
Others reject it,
And say, “You're crazy,” to our face.
 
We keep on trying
Though most are lying,
With the words, “I'm about to go.”
Seeing them after
Full of laughter,
And feel the pain that they don't Know.
 
Some say, “I'm trying,
But God dying -
That is something I don't believe.”
So we show them
What is broken;
Some will listen – others leave.
 
We keep walking,
Stopping, talking -
Asking them, “Why are you here?
What's your purpose?
What makes life worth it?
How do you know which way is clear?”
 
Some will listen,
Shocked eyes glisten,
As we tell what God has done.
They may be running
But God is coming,
And He sent to us His Son.
 
We're encouraged knowing,
God is showing,
His love to many lost.
Some are spurning,
But we are yearning,
To share, “He paid the cost.”

God is leading,
Sinners bleeding,
To His arms that hold and heal.
We are crying
To the broken, dying,
“Listen... God is real.”

 
~ZA
  
 
Copyright © 2013 Ophelia M. Flowers
 

Thursday, May 30, 2013

I Told God I Wanted A Blessing





       If you would like to know some background about why I wrote this poem, you can read about it here: Link :)

 
I Told God I Wanted A Blessing

2/19/13
 

I told God I wanted a blessing
And He opened a door for me.
I told Him that it looked scary
But He told me to wait and see.
 
I told God I wanted a blessing
And He gave me a path to take.
I told Him I might mess up
But He told me I'd bend, not break.
 
I told God I wanted a blessing
And He showed me a way to go.
I told Him I felt too small
But He told me it'd help me grow.
 
I told God I wanted a blessing
And He gave to me a choice.
I told Him my words were weak
But He told me I'd have His voice.
 
I told God I wanted a blessing
And in love He gave one to me.
I told Him I felt unqualified,
But He told me to trust Him and see.
 
 
 
~ZA
 
 
Copyright © 2013 Ophelia M. Flowers

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Long The Path


 
             o.O Whoops, it's been awhile since I've posted here again. I have been writing though - and self publishing my second book of poetry, Zeal Aspiring , so I have been doing poetry stuff... ;)

             Here's a poem I wrote a few weeks ago while feeling lonely and missing some people. It helped me think.
 
 
 
 Long The Path 5/8/13
 
Long the path,
Short my life.
Joys and laughter -
Pain and strife.
 
Emotions are deep,
Pain deeper still.
Depth of writing
Beneath a quill.
 
Quiet are tears,
Sharper the cry.
Writing down questions,
I wonder why.
 
Dripped every page,
Tears down cheek.
Knowing my life,
Is much too weak.
 
Silence is vast,
Filling with tears.
Writing of many
Now wasted years.
 
Forgotten is joy,
Unsure where to go.
Bruised are hearts
In this frozen snow.
 
Darker the night,
Bigger the test.
Whispers in mourning,
Stealing my rest.
 
Twisted is hope,
Dangled ahead.
Not much left,
But fraying thread.
 
Life is long,
Sleep is grace.
Longing to run:
Finish the race.
 
Blessed are friends,
Showing His Word.
Reminded of God,
Heart is stirred.
 
Uncertain my steps,
Made every day.
Yet through darkness
My Father stays.
 
Promises held,
Giving of trust.
Believing in Heaven,
Though I am dust.
 
Sure the dawn,
Though hidden now.
Written on hearts,
Obediently bowed.


~ZA
 

Copyright © 2013 Ophelia M. Flowers

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Flowers



This poem was inspired by a post on my friend, Jeremiah's blog.
I encourage you to go check it out:


Flowers
2/8/13
 
 
Precious little flowers,
Delicate and small,
Show to me the beauty
Of God who made them all.
 
Stems gently swaying,
Turning to the sun.
The morning dawn is breaking,
A new day has begun.
 
Buds now slowly open,
Bright with colors flair.
The flowers remind me,
Of my Lord's tender care.
 
Soft and fragile petals,
Covered in the dew.
Whispers of the morning,
As the day begins anew.
 
Why this variation
To every pretty one?
I see God's handiwork
In the artwork He has done.
 
I look on with wonder
At the beauty they display.
In them I see God's glory,
And His creative way.
 
So look to the flowers.
See the lesson that they give.
God takes care in little things
And in all the things that live.
 
 
~ZA



Copyright © 2013 Ophelia M. Flowers