The words of this blog post hit me hard: The 13th Floor Issue of Everything Left Unsaid . I know what this is talking about and have been through parts of it my share of times... At the root of it, most came about because I or another was afraid how the other would react if we said how we really felt... Those lessons were painful, but we have a new bond of honesty between us from it.
The fact that I've dropped into periods of silence myself more than once, and that I've helped friends sort through similar situations tells me that this isn't an abnormal reaction in many cases. Misunderstandings happen, and those closest to us can cause us pain inadvertently or on purpose, but if you love someone you need to take the risk of talking it out... Silence to sort our thoughts or to try to let it go is not wrong - I'm just saying that you should never hold everything back and let the feelings of hurt take root in your friendship and grow. It will fester until you can hardly think of them without considering things said. Now there are times when it is not wise to speak out...but you should never choose to go silent because of fear.
Writing a book is very easy. Just give up your life, strip off all your lies, lash yourself to a rock, push yourself until you think you’re going to die, ignore people when they say nothing you write is worth reading, and then publish it and beg people to buy it. Easy. – David Groves
I spent a lot of time at the ocean this summer. As I watched the waves and went swimming I was struck again how /small/ I am. The ocean is vast and strong enough to knock my feet out from under me; the tide keeps coming and there is nothing I can do to control it... *Smiles* I wrote this poem thinking about the ocean and the strength of God's will.
Of Your Will
I know more about You, Lord.
by day, please lead me.
all I long for -
feel Your presence in my life.
feel so small in the face of what You ask,
You tell me to run
hearted after You.
want to take a deep breath
dive into the ocean of Your will
give myself totally over to You.
more of this standing on the shore
my feet barely wet,
to take the plunge.
waves crash in and sweep back the sand of my plans.
built fragile drip castles that I try to keep
on the edge of Your tide.
if I dare to go into that unknown ocean
leave behind my castles.
hear Your voice calling -
calling, calling me to trust You
I hold my breath
run into the waves.
much deeper than I thought,
I lose my footing.
a moment I struggle –
out as the sand of my plans slides away.
current gently lifts me
pulls me into deeper waters;
strong and out of my control
somehow a sense of overwhelming peace is there.
don't always follow as I should.
I still go to the ocean's edge to build my sand castles,
if I can keep them from You.
struggle with letting You have control of all my life,
You keep calling me back -
into the glorious wonder of striving for Your will.
oh, that is hard to do -
times I fight Your current
of swimming in the direction You're guiding.
when I surrender and dive deep,
to go where You call me,
I feel Your strength to go.
being powerless within the waves of Your will -
know there's nothing left for me to do
feel Your enveloping presence and...
longer I stay here with You
more I know that this is where I long to be,
nothing can compare to the peace there is
feeling the wild, enveloping, strength of Your love
I'm working with the ministry of the Boardwalk Chapel in Wildwood New Jersey this summer. I'm learning so much and love being here. ^_^
This poem is a bit about what it's like to go out witnessing on the boardwalk. :)